Milk!

Did you know that you can buy milk on amazon.com? Personally, I use the US site, and its sister site amazon.co.uk to buy English-language books and DVDs I can't get in Spain. It never occurred to me that that I might want to buy a perishable foodstuff there and have it delivered to my very own home!

The strangest thing about the "gourmet" milk, however, is that 733 people, and counting, have posted reviews of the product. And most of them are absolutely hilarious. There's even a short story! These are some of my favorites:

"There are no instructions on opening the bottle. I had to throw mine away, the 800 number listed on the bottle unfortunately doesn't offer options on opening the bottle."
[800 number = free number for companies and government agencies]

"This milk is simply the best, it has many uses, it goes well on cereal. Some of the family just drink it. The kids like it with cookies. Don't try to clean your car or a gas grill with it."

"I washed my car with this product and it really looks great, but it has a terrible smell and everyone thinks I left some cheese in the trunk."
[trunk = boot (BrEng), where you store things in the back of your car]

"Has anyone else tried pouring this stuff over dry cereal? A-W-E-S-O-M-E!"
[awesome = absolutely fantastic]

"My friend told me a story that if I switch to Tuscan milk instead of oil, my car will get higher MPG. Well needless to say, it was worth the $3.99 just to see... and to my shock my car now gets 60 MPG! It used to get only 22 MPG. However, it probably won't be long until the oil companies kill the Tuscan milk to prevent profit loss (good thing I stockpiled a few dozen gallons)."
[MPG = miles per gallon]

"Tastes fine, but it has a tendency to spray out of the mouth (and occasionally, the nose) when reading the other product reviews written here. Curiously, this doesn't happen with other products sold by Amazon."